Toni Nieuwhof

How to spot joy-stealing pessimism in your marriage and what to do when you find it

How to spot joy-stealing pessimism in your marriage and what to do when you find it Black and white, no grading on a scale, answer this question:  are you a pessimist? Optimist or pessimist? Set aside any impulses you give the answer you would rather be or aspire to be.  Also resist for a moment …

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5 Moves To Raise your Marriage to New Heights

5 Moves To Raise your Marriage to New Heights Let’s say your marriage has gone from ‘bliss’ to ‘okay’ to ‘beyond stressed’.  Maybe you’ve even had that conversation with your partner, where you’ve said, “I can’t do this anymore!”  If this is you, then you’ll probably agree that in your relationship, you’re just surviving. In …

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5 Insidious Ways You May Be Sabotaging Your Marriage

5 Insidious Ways You May Be Sabotaging Your Marriage If you’re like most married people, you want your marriage to be great.  But if you’re like most married people, some of the ways you treat each other are not-so-great.  These pitfalls can creep in without you even noticing.[1]  That is, until now! Turning a fun …

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If you’re worried about your kids because of your marriage, here’s what to do next…

Worried About Your Kids Because of Your Marriage?  Here’s What To Do Next… “I had to leave. Things are so bad between us, and our kids have seen too much already.” “Our fighting is too toxic. We need to split for the sake of our kids.” “It’s terrible with us being under one roof. It’s …

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How to Fail at Changing Your Spouse’s Mind

How to Fail at Changing Your Spouse’s Mind Chances are if you’ve been married for some time, you’ve thought something like, “how can I change his (or her) mind?”.  You’ve tried being subtle.  You’ve tried to position them to hear it from someone else. At some point, you’ve probably tried arguing or the direct, ‘in …

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If a healthy relationship includes playfulness (and you’re like me…), how can you get it back?

If a healthy relationship includes playfulness (and you’re like me…), how can you get it back? Are you missing the sweet touch of play in your relationship? Perhaps your playfulness is like mine:  you’ll slip into the mood here and there, but most often you’re all too serious. Before the pandemic hit, our lifestyle was …

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Ask yourself these two questions if frustration has replaced emotional intimacy in your marriage

Ask yourself these two questions if frustration has replaced emotional intimacy in your marriage “Whatever I do, it’s never enough!” Maybe you can relate to this.  You’ve had a few issues in your marriage you can’t crack the code on.  She asks you to not be so messy, and you’ve responded.  Made some changes.  But …

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Why Waiting for Your Spouse to Make the First Move Could Be a Mistake

Why Waiting for Your Spouse to Make the First Move Could Be a Mistake   Emma’s marriage was suffering to the point where she was losing hope.  Even though she and her husband Kyle agreed that their future was at risk, they disagreed bitterly over what would make it better.  So, when Emma decided to …

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