What’s Your Sweet Spot?

by Shauna Pilgreen

Here’s my created definition of sweet spot:

that moment in time when you are most happy, most alive, and most satisfied.

When you daily give so much of yourself away, it’s hard to make time for this. Plus, right now, it’s taking us a few minutes to clear the cobwebs and look back at the things that make us most satisfied, most alive, most happy.

Hear me say this: your sweet spots were never intended to go away. 

What is your sweet spot?

Here are a few of mine:

  • when writing is flowing/ideas are coming
  • dipping strawberries in chocolate
  • curled up on the couch with a blanket watching downton abbey or anne of green gables
  • conversations with other moms figuring out how to give the most to those around us while staying healthy ourselves

Think of one. Jot one down.

What is your husband or wife’s sweet spot?

Here are few of my husband, Ben’s:

  • being on the back deck with the fire pit blazing, chatting. dessert or coffee adds to it.
  • walking and talking on the streets of San Fransisco
  • reading thought-provoking, change-provoking books on leadership
  • preaching/leading/starting/building

Think of one of your husband’s, your wife’s. Jot one down.

What are some sweet spots you share together?

Here are a few of ours:

  • intimacy
  • trying a new restaurant or venturing back to a favorite
  • dreaming about our next vacation or next adventure
  • no agenda Saturday mornings
  • date nights in or out of the house

Think of one you share together. Jot one down.

3 Things to Consider:


1. Rediscover a Sweet Spot

Do not feel guilty for taking time for yourself.

Make time for yourself. This might take extra work on the front end. It might take calendaring and communicating well with your spouse.

Put the obvious in front of you. Ex.: everything is prepped and ready for later. I love it after I’ve put the kids to bed and Ben and I have agreed that tonight’s gonna be a “work” night. When I come upstairs, all my “tools” are sitting out, candle ready to be lit, pandora ready to be played, dishes are done, house is quiet, and I’m ready to write or we’re ready to talk about our next adventure.

2. Indulge in His or Her Sweet Spot

This is a selfless act that reaps benefits. As wives and husbands, we should seek this out weekly or more often. Indulging can be as simple as a question. It can be as simple as looking your loved one in the face when they talk. One way you indulge is by giving him or her permission and a push to enjoy their sweet spot.

3. Plan a Sweet Spot

Put it on the calendar. Write it in your diary. Tell it to a friend to hold you accountable.


  • surprise her for lunch during a workday
  • schedule a date night that YOU plan
  • mentally know throughout the day that you’re gonna seduce him at bedtime

Plan a sweet spot. Jot one down. Give yourself a deadline or a date.


Check the Expiration Date.

Don’t offer your partner something that looks or feels stale.  Not really a sweet spot anymore. Make sure your motives are right. Offer what feels fresh and inviting.

Don’t Overindulge.

Too much of a good thing can be bad for your health. Selfishness can be addictive as we try to please ourselves and want others to please us as well. You and I have the world at our disposal and often can expect too much. Moderation is key! Personal sweet spots are to be enjoyed in moderation. Once the sweet spot becomes an expectation or a heartless routine, it’s lost its lustre.

You Might Become Irresistible.

If you rediscover your sweet spot, indulge in his, and plan one for the two of you to enjoy, watch out! You might become irresistible!

For more articles and content from Shauna Pilgreen, head on over to shaunapilgreen.com!  Shauna Pilgreen is the author of Love Where You Live.

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